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The Great Betrayal of Anger

The Healing Cup Blog by Shining Star

Do you think a seed ever feels small? Or is she so focused on growing and being big that it bothers her, not at all? Why do we feel so small or allow ourselves to feel slights when we know who we are? Is it that we forget for a moment? Or is it that we truly never have remembered who we are? I wonder did someone make me feel like this or did I allow myself to feel like this?

And a story was dropped on my heart…

I was once a little girl, who became angry at a great betrayal. And I thought to myself, I am angry – I shall never know what it is like to be more angry than I am right now. I am the black cloud that appears in the sky and rains down sadness and lighting that cuts and scrapes the ground. I am the swelling ocean that washes away life with a slap of her hand. I am a great anger.

And an Angel appeared to me and Whispered, “I know that you are feeling this experience of anger, that you are quite consumed by it- that you scream like the north winds blows- trying to drain the storm of your suffering, but there is a great Light in your Heart that swells Brighter than the darkness you believe you carry,…. Are you now ready to set down, this great feeling of anger, this great suffering?”

– And I screamed like the raging storm inside of me screams, “No! I am not ready to set it down,-!” “That is fine,” said the angel, with great, great love, “hold it dear one, for a bit longer then and then set it down when you are ready.”

And time passed and my arms got heavy, and my body started to hurt, and my mind and heart started to ache, and the angel appeared and asked, “Are you ready now dear one, to set down this weight?”

And the beast inside me growled as I screamed, “No! I shall carry it a bit longer If you please - I am not ready to set it down!”

And some time passed, and I got sick, and then I got sicker, and I lay on my bed crying that I could not set it down- this thing that has made me sick; this weight that I have been waiting to set down… this thing that I have chosen to carry all my life.

And some time passed, and I became frail, my body was bent under this weight, and I lay on this bed that became my castle and the angel appeared to me once more and said, “Are you now, dear one, ready to set it down, this thing you have been carrying, this anger, this suffering?”

And I saw her, this angel through my tired eyes and through cracked lips, I whispered, “Yes, yes, I am ready…now…” and the angel of death took me into her arms, and I finally let it go, this thing that made me sick for a lifetime.

Why do we have to hold so tight to the things that are poisoning us from within? This anger, this fear, this slight becomes the gravestones that cover the world and keep the flowers from growing there. All around the heavy rock you see, the flowers grow… and remind us that it is okay, that when we are ready to let go of our slights, and the betrayals and the pains, the flowers will grow in our hearts again!

The Healing Cup Blog by Shining Star at ~

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